


Let me tell you something I can barely put in words

by anisstaranise



Series: Things that you say, I can't erase [1]
Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Confessions, Episode Related, Established Relationship, F/M, New York
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 01:16:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9297776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anisstaranise/pseuds/anisstaranise
Summary: A burner phone sits heavy in the pocket of his jeans. Maybe he can make an exception just this once.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was written on pure adrenaline after watching the season 6 premiere. Here, Nick makes it out of Bud's shop in one piece and flees.
> 
> Written for **Anon** who prompted " _Things you said over the phone_ " from this [list](http://anisstaranise.tumblr.com/post/155022880210/send-me-a-ship-and-one-of-these-and-ill-write-a)
> 
> Title from **Tiffany Gouche** 's " _All I Need (Intro)_ "

The wind sweeps past him as he steps off the Greyhound, the bite of the remnants of winter chill tucked in its gust. He adjusts the strap of his satchel draped over his left shoulder, his _Grimm_ -senses on high alert to the new surroundings.

As much as he would rather stay in Portland, this is exactly where he needs to be.

A neighbouring bus lets out a hissing puff of its air brakes as he walks by, his destination unknown but his determination burns hot within; _You’re not running_ , he reminds himself. _You have work to do_.

He must put a stop to Black Claw’s schemes. And he must put a stop to Sean Renard.

His fist clenches instinctively at the thought of his former Captain, his nails digging craters into his palm. Renard’s betrayal cuts deep, deeper than any other and it’s made worse that his once ally and friend has the power of the Portland Police Department- and now the City Hall- behind him.

There’s a proverbial bull’s eye painted on his back- an APB out on him with the order of _shot to kill_ should he show any signs of resistance. He doesn’t mind that, not so much. He can handle the long arm of the law; he’s a _Grimm_ after all, a survivor.

But what is made unbearable, making him see red with rage, is the thought of Sean Renard putting on a façade of being a devoted family man for the public; a doting father to _his_ son, a loving husband to _his_ Adalind.

He stops abruptly in his tracks, his heart pounding at the thought of Adalind. A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth on its own volition, the way it’s known to do whenever his mind runs away with a memory of Adalind; the brightness of her smile, the smell of her skin, the taste of her kiss.

A burner phone sits heavy in the pocket of his jeans, his only way of being contacted by Hadrian’s Wall. He had been instructed never to use the phone outside of Hadrian’s Wall affairs but maybe- just maybe, he can make an exception just this once.

Before he can change his mind, he pulls out the burner phone and flips it open, his thumb already dialling a series of number he knows by heart.

It rings. Once. Twice.

“Hello?” comes Adalind’s lilting voice.

The sound of it almost knocks the wind out of him, simultaneously filling him with relief and longing and hope.

“Hey,” he breathes.

“Nick?” Adalind’s voice drops to a whisper but there’s an excitement riding in her tone, her relief and longing matching his; he can hear it clear as day. “Are you alright?”

He huffs a laugh.

“I am now,” he says, every truth bleeding in his words; hearing Adalind’s voice erases a little of the fatigue of being a fugitive.

Adalind breathes out a quiet giggle and he can almost see the crinkle at the corners of her eyes, the curling of her lips, the tiny scrunch of her nose- something their son had adorably inherited.

“How’s Kelly?” he asks, fully aware of the hollowness growing from being separated from his son.

“He’s good,” Adalind answers, the pitch of her voice an octave too high; she’s on the verge of tears, he can tell. God, what he wouldn’t give to comfort her in his arms this very second. “He still sleeps with one of your t-shirts as his blanket.”

There’s a jolt in his chest where his heart grows a size too big for his body, filled to the brim with love for his son while being crushed by his missing his family all at once.

“He misses you,” Adalind says after a moment. “ _I_ miss you.”

 _I miss you_ ; the words fan the flame of his mission. When Monroe and Hank had suggested he leave the city to outrun the reaches of Renard and the Portland Police Department, he had been prepared to dig his heels and stand his ground.

But the thought of Adalind and Kelly had stirred him to his senses; the war with Black Claw isn’t one he can fight alone. With the help of Hadrian’s Wall, they need to regroup and rebuild after the fall of Martin Meisner and the Oregon branch. And once they’re ready, they’ll strike down Black Claw- for good this time- and he’ll be reunited with his family.

He is determined. He is hopeful.

So, he had left Portland, left his home. And he had left his heart wherever Adalind and Kelly were.

“I wish we were there with you,” Adalind says, a whimper betraying her calm.

Another gust of wind swirls around him as he turns on the sidewalk, the burner phone hot against his cheek. He looks up at the sight of the Empire State Building looming ahead, standing tall amidst the concrete jungle of New York.

“I would much rather be home with you and the kids,” he says, thinking of Diana, too, suddenly excited at the prospect of getting to know Adalind’s eldest child.

He doesn’t care that Renard, the very same man who wants him dead, is Diana’s biological father, he doesn’t care about her unrefined powers as a young _Hexenbeist_ ; all he cares about is that Diana is family now.

“Does Diana like to ice skate?” he asks on a whim.

A beat passes before Adalind replies, sounding slightly confused. “Not that I know of.”

“We should go, one day-” he proposes, allowing himself a fantasy of a future he may never live to see. “- just the four of us. Make it a family trip.”

He hears Adalind’s tears, her muffled whimpers crushing his heart but her voice is unperturbed when she replies, “I’m sure she’d like that very much.”

Their colourful past aside, he’s in awe of Adalind; the woman he’s come to know is the embodiment of grace and strength. And he’s fallen-

A honk blares somewhere down the street, pulling him out of his reverie.

He clears his throat as he switches the phone from one ear to the other.

“I have to go-” he says. “- but before I do- in case I don’t get a chance to say it-”

“No!” Adalind interrupts. “You can’t say goodbye.”

She’s crying now but he can’t help the small laugh that escapes him.

“I’m not saying goodbye,” he quips. “Never goodbye- not with us.”

“Good.”

He swallows hard. He’s fallen- and for a brief moment he’s furious with himself for not saying it sooner.

“I need you to know-” he says, enunciating his words. “Adalind, I need you to know-”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

Without waiting for her response, he steels his heart and flips the burner phone closed, the fire in him burning brighter, hungrier. His satchel’s heavy with his _Grimm_ books and weapons, his determined steps ploughing through New York as he awaits information on a rendezvous point from Hadrian’s Wall agents for he is eager to begin his mission and end this war once and for all.

\---END

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Comments welcomed.


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